The Music needs more focus & clarity
Well you want to know what's good & bad so.. here goes.
00:42-1:05 - This is pretty cool, feels like the music is going somewhere, feels like it is telling a story - an adventure somewhere. The instruments chosen here are very suitable, the dynamics are nice and musically this section is pretty flawless.
1:46-1:53 - I love the piano here, it is my favourite bit of thie piece. It blends in very well with the other chosen instruments played along side it i.e the choir and whatever other instrument is in the mix at that point [I can hear one but can't tell what it is for certain]
The Intro - It's a bit slow and drawn out, the choir is a bit too... 'messy'. Either the choir is playing too many notes at once here or the piano sample used isn't the greatest. Something that has more definition to it, would be best here. The choir sample doesn't really have shape to it, it feels a bit foggy and it doesn't really add musical quality to the piece at all. Maybe a Male choir sample [an Ooh or Ah one.] would be better.
The piece as a whole doesn't really feel like it has much direction. It feels a bit lost. The choir drowns out lots of the other instruments too. Also sometimes the chords used are not ideal, either .. for instance at 00:36 the strings use a chord that is really conflicting with the feel of the piece.
1:15 - 1:18 this beat just feels really out of place and doesn't fit in at all. Also, the intended effect [to have a nice crescendo] doesn't really work.
1:12-1:15 the chords used here don't match the nature of the music at all. They sound out of place and furthermore they have a negative impact on the music.
The music is rather disjointed, like having lots of different puzzle pieces put together incorrectly - each piece on it's own works in its own right yet when put together there is a clash. There are times when the instruments you use do not work with the music at all. Like, the instrument that comes in after the piano, it's too sharp.
I really loved the piano bit and the other section that I mentioned. I can sense a lot of potential in this piece of music but it needs to be refined, focused, and given more clarity. There is a lot of variety too, but you need to develop an ear for what works really well - if I was you I'd have taken the piano bit and the other section and really develop them since they have a lot of potential and if you stretch them out a bit you could get a lot from them.
I hope this helps,
All the Best